And please do not be discouraged by this particular post because while I could easily go off on a rant... Debilitating Fatigue makes a rough start to the day... I am going to do my best to not rant...
Today sucks. Again, Fatigue doesn't bring out my inner sunny cheerleader...
Now yesterday, yesterday was fabulous--Seventy-five degrees F and sunny after months of gloom, cold, rain, sleet, snow--and I was able to get outside for some gardening, but I didn't I overdo it, even though I was tempted to. I ate mostly raw. I slept as well as I sleep any given night--eight hours interrupted by 3-5 trips to pee; so all in all WHY DID I WAKE UP FEELING LIKE I WAS HIT BY A TRUCK?
This is the never ending mystery of ever autoimmune illness... Flares, whether fatigue, pain, or brain fog... unpredictable fucking flares...
I could blame the drastic weather change (it's back to forty degrees F) and yes, maybe that has something to do with it, but there have been weather shifts off and on all winter. And they haven't each resulted in a flare...
Is it any wonder that the people looking in on my life are confused? how can they not be if my good days/bad days carrousel leaves me so confused.
This check-list illustration designed by the website www.survivingchronicpain.com reminds me that I am not alone, basically every single friend I have with an autoimmune disease wakes up feeling exactly as I do ...
And feel as helpless trying to explain to our loved ones, friends, and co-workers why we have to cancel plans or accomplish exactly nothing...
And try to wrap our beads around just why saying "I have an autoimmune disease" is not enough explanation...
To keep people from thinking "it's just an excuse"
To keep people from making judgments such as "lazy"
To keep people from saying "you don't look sick."
Days like this remind me why I am determined to educate as many people as I can about autoimmune disease. No one wants to have disease as an excuse for not living each moment fully. Seriously
Days like this I want to talk about the benefits of raw food, unprocessed food. And meditation. And yoga. Because I so firmly believe in the results, especially today when the memory of how horrid and helpless and depressed I was four years ago when the doctors had no answers that would help me take my life back. So I empowered myself by firing the lot of them and took full responsibility for my own health and disease.
Days like this remind me exactly why I so drastically changed my diet... To ensure I have fewer days like today.
And today, as I lay on the sofa, babying myself a little, I think about my bigger journey. There is no time to feel sorry for myself or question why my higher consciousness chose this particular path ...
I am Focused on my own healing.
I am healthier, stronger, and less affected by my disease than I was four years ago.
I am winning.
Now... if you have made it to the end of this post, you are either really desperate for your own healing to which I would say "don't give up! You have the power within You to heal!" Or you kept reading because you love me and you honestly care how I am doing, "Thank you. I love you too"
Or maybe you kept reading because you are curious or skeptical about raw food, autoimmune disease, and self healing in which case "Peace to you and I hope your mind is more open from experiencing what this blog has to offer."
