Saturday, July 27, 2013


This is an amazing video... and a reminder that every day is important. Every day is the most important.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Sungazing and Strength

Okay, obviously SUN GAZING is becoming a greater part of my life...

It felt so "right" from the first ten seconds when I began this experiment following the HRM Theory. And since I have become more and more convinced that my return to sun gazing is perfectly timed and even though I began the experiment in an effort to ban all of the annoying emotional food cravings that plagued me for the last four years since turning raw...

This video is fairly interesting, perhaps not John's best, but he covers a lot of area very quickly and if you are as ADHD as I am you can probably make the huge mental leaps he takes.

As John mentions, some of the people who are following him on Facebook are not following the HRM method completely but are rather following instinct and letting what resonates with them day to day to guide them... I am one of those people.

Yes, of course I started this by following HRM with 10sec, 20sec, 30sec, blah, blah to about the 2 minute mark and then disaster happened in the form of unpredictable Ohio weather and rain, and more rain, with complete cloud cover-to the point many joked about building an ark-and I started getting so depressed because I wanted to gaze so desperately...

I juice fasted... I meditated... I was still CRAVING sunlight...
On about Day 5 of no sun, I gazed at the sky where the sun should be... but not for 2minutes minus 100seconds of backward progress as one poster suggested is recommended when you have to do without sun... that would put me right back to Day 2... so I started at 3 minutes, and the next day, clouds, oh well 4 minutes, and the next and the next until the sun shined and I had to make a decision: go back to the 2 minute mark where I left off, or just keep moving forward. I chose forward and gazed for many minutes without ill effect. Of course I worried, Maybe the ten seconds is supposed to build character or, or...

And my gut said, "Shut the fuck up. Do what feels right and forget about all the people who are "in the know" ... because they really know only what someone told them to believe anyway, and when have I ever played by the rules of the sheeple?"

I'm gazing at 17 minutes tonight...
I hope to be to thirty by mid-August and plan to maintain that as long as it feels right.
I'm in no hurry to reach HRM's "Magic Forty-Four Minutes" ... (If you want to try to understand his philosophy, go for it) ... AND DO START WITH 10 SECONDS and increase by 10 seconds, at least for 12-14 days (Just to get a feel for what the hell you are doing and time to figure out what you want to accomplish)

My goals are still the same:
Eliminate Cravings - I feel I am making huge progress here
Heal - I'm feeling pretty good about my future

Unexpected results:
I am calm. Even when faced with the huge stress of people wanting me to deal with their dramas. I am so over that. Thank goddess.

I feel strong. Seriously strong. Even on days when my hips or shoulders or fingers are flaring, I find myself saying "fuck this shit-I can!" and then I go and do whatever I think I should be (breathe through the pain and I'm stronger and surer when I'm done) hike (again, breathe, work through it, keep moving, and feel stronger) ...

Seriously DEEP SLEEP - who knew I could actually sleep?

Vivid dreams... sometimes amusing, sometimes troubling, I've been taking notes...

Separation/Detachment ... this has always been a difficult meditation/enlightenment concept for me, that most often or not falls into the cliched "Let It Go" followed immediately by the equally cliched "Whatever" category... I'm actually not only understanding now, I'm doing it, and if that isn't a mind-boggling result I don't know what could be.

Friday, July 5, 2013

Sun Gazing Update

Sun Gazing Milestone to date 8 Minutes
There have been four solid days of heavy clouds and rain that have made sungazing nearly impossible, but I find myself drawn to the windows at even the tiniest glimmer of a ray peaking through. I don't know how this is happening but I trust my instincts and when something inside my brain compels me to look, I look. At first I thought it was a coincidence but I believe that less an less as each time my urge proves right.

Tonight there was a heavily shaded over orb peaking in and out of the clouds. I looked as long as I could look and stopped the timer each time the orb fully disappeared. I believe I made almost nine minutes... but I was left wanting/ This small reminder of what every winter in this part of the world holds in store makes me dread the crummy weather even more.

I really want to get past the fifteen minute mark before that happens.
I want to note a lessening of negative thought.
I want to notice a lessening of urge to keep returning to the old unhealthy eating patterns...
I hope all HRM promises is true but only time and sungazing time will prove the truth.

On the days I gaze, I do feel physically and mentally stronger, there is no doubting that.

  • My day goes better and I am able to deflect negativity more easily. I smile more. 
  • It is easier to stay 100% raw and less than 10% fat...
  • The night following a good day's sun gazing I can fall asleep easier and sleep more deeply.

I thought this was a lovely video. It is subtitled in English.