Sungazing and Strength

Okay, obviously SUN GAZING is becoming a greater part of my life...

It felt so "right" from the first ten seconds when I began this experiment following the HRM Theory. And since I have become more and more convinced that my return to sun gazing is perfectly timed and even though I began the experiment in an effort to ban all of the annoying emotional food cravings that plagued me for the last four years since turning raw...

This video is fairly interesting, perhaps not John's best, but he covers a lot of area very quickly and if you are as ADHD as I am you can probably make the huge mental leaps he takes.



As John mentions, some of the people who are following him on Facebook are not following the HRM method completely but are rather following instinct and letting what resonates with them day to day to guide them... I am one of those people.

Yes, of course I started this by following HRM with 10sec, 20sec, 30sec, blah, blah to about the 2 minute mark and then disaster happened in the form of unpredictable Ohio weather and rain, and more rain, with complete cloud cover-to the point many joked about building an ark-and I started getting so depressed because I wanted to gaze so desperately...

I juice fasted... I meditated... I was still CRAVING sunlight...
On about Day 5 of no sun, I gazed at the sky where the sun should be... but not for 2minutes minus 100seconds of backward progress as one poster suggested is recommended when you have to do without sun... that would put me right back to Day 2... so I started at 3 minutes, and the next day, clouds, oh well 4 minutes, and the next and the next until the sun shined and I had to make a decision: go back to the 2 minute mark where I left off, or just keep moving forward. I chose forward and gazed for many minutes without ill effect. Of course I worried, Maybe the ten seconds is supposed to build character or, or...

And my gut said, "Shut the fuck up. Do what feels right and forget about all the people who are "in the know" ... because they really know only what someone told them to believe anyway, and when have I ever played by the rules of the sheeple?"

I'm gazing at 17 minutes tonight...
I hope to be to thirty by mid-August and plan to maintain that as long as it feels right.
I'm in no hurry to reach HRM's "Magic Forty-Four Minutes" ... (If you want to try to understand his philosophy, go for it) ... AND DO START WITH 10 SECONDS and increase by 10 seconds, at least for 12-14 days (Just to get a feel for what the hell you are doing and time to figure out what you want to accomplish)

My goals are still the same:
Eliminate Cravings - I feel I am making huge progress here
Heal - I'm feeling pretty good about my future

Unexpected results:
I am calm. Even when faced with the huge stress of people wanting me to deal with their dramas. I am so over that. Thank goddess.

I feel strong. Seriously strong. Even on days when my hips or shoulders or fingers are flaring, I find myself saying "fuck this shit-I can!" and then I go and do whatever I think I should be doing...yoga (breathe through the pain and I'm stronger and surer when I'm done) hike (again, breathe, work through it, keep moving, and feel stronger) ...

Seriously DEEP SLEEP - who knew I could actually sleep?

Vivid dreams... sometimes amusing, sometimes troubling, I've been taking notes...

Separation/Detachment ... this has always been a difficult meditation/enlightenment concept for me, that most often or not falls into the cliched "Let It Go" followed immediately by the equally cliched "Whatever" category... I'm actually not only understanding now, I'm doing it, and if that isn't a mind-boggling result I don't know what could be.